No.

Monday, March 16, 2015

When you are invited somewhere that you don't want to go, what do you do? Do you politely decline, do you think of an excuse, or do you just flat-out lie?

I think that most people feel a little stressed when they are asked to do something that they have no interest in. There are several reasons we may feel this stress. Some feel it because they don't want to hurt other people's feelings. Some because they are a people pleaser, and some because they fear that people will judge them or look down on them.

Whatever the reason for the stress, people (myself included) really need to learn to say no sometimes. I know that I tend to try to make excuses when I don't want to go somewhere. I try to make sure that they are legitimate, so that I am not lying, but it would still be better if I just said, "No thanks. I think I'll pass this time". There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and yet for whatever reason, most of us feel like we owe people more than that. Like somehow us making excuses is better than being straightforward...backwards much?

I know I am guilty of this sometimes, and I know my friends have mentioned that they struggle in the same way.

So today, I encourage us all to choose to just say "no" instead of making up random excuses, or even lying (please don't do that). If someone is really our friend, they will not get mad at us for choosing to opt-out on certain events.

And like-wise, don't make your friends feel guilty if they give you a "no". Don't you want to feel like you don't owe anyone an excuse? Well, let your friends have that right too. Trust them. It's only fair.

I'm not really sure why so many people have an issue with this, but it really is a problem. Let's do our best to correct this bad habit!

6 comments

  1. Learning to say no is a hard thing to be comfortable with. Also, learning to say yes to the right things can be equally as hard. I've loved "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terquerst! She wrote a whole book about being able to say no to the things we don't need in our life and yes to the things that might feel too hard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have heard good things about that book but didn't really know what it was about. I would love to read that!
      Thank you for the suggestion.

      Delete
  2. I too struggle with this! I am notorious for signing up for something just because I know it will make someone else happy. Then the time comes for me to go to a event, plan a baby shower, or help write out all those thank you notes, and I just DON'T WANT TO! So i become a bit passive aggressive for a bit. I don't mean to it's just how I cope but sometimes it rubs people the wrong way. Saying no is probably one of the most important things you can learn to do!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too! And then I end up backing out and feeling guilty :/

      Delete
  3. I definitely think learning to say no is a vital, but hard, lesson to learn! It's something I need to work on - it's so hard to make up excuses or even stretch the truth to get out of things you don't want to do. Thanks for the inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Caroline, thanks for stopping by!
      Exactly! Making excuses is my natural inclination, but that's just not good. I am striving to do better!

      Delete

Affiliates