Tuesday, October 13, 2015
"I only yelled at you because you were being rude."
"I only talked about you behind your back because you talked about me first."
"You were supposed to help me become a better person. If you had helped me more, I would have made way more progress."
"You are supposed to keep me accountable for reading my Bible. It's your fault I haven't spent more time with God."
It's a lot easier to blame another person for our failures than it is to admit that we have failed, isn't it?
The list above is just random, and not all of them are necessarily pertinent to my life, but the one I'm really bad about is the last one. I am terrible about not reading my Bible. I don't pick it up and read it. But if Taylor doesn't ask me if I have read my Bible, I get mad at him and say he isn't keeping me accountable. Sure, I love when he remembers to ask me about it. Yes, I think that is important. But to blame him when I am the only one that is responsible for spending time with the Lord, is ridiculous. I know that deep down, but I find myself constantly repeating this attitude- but there is no excuse.
When I mess up, it is not someone else's fault. When you mess up, it's not because of someone else. We are responsible for every move we make, every thought we think, and every word that comes out of our mouths. Can other people influence those things? Can the devil himself influence those things? Yes! Absolutely. But when it is all said and done, only I give account for my actions. Only I can decide to do the right thing- or the wrong thing.
A popular pastor was recently found out to be having an affair. And he only had an affair after catching his wife having an affair. I have no idea what has happened with this situation. I have no idea if this pastor blames his wife or not- but if he does, he is wrong.
Cheating is an awful thing. I feel terrible for him and the hurt he suffered when he found his wife cheating on him. But one person's sin does not give us the right to go out and sin too. Regardless of what anyone else does or says, we are responsible for our own actions. We have no right to blame anyone else.
So what do you blame others for?
Do you blame others for your anger? Your selfishness? Your infidelity? Your half-truths? Whatever it is, start admitting that it's your fault. It's not your husband's fault, not your mom's fault, not your teacher's fault, and not your boss' fault. It's yours. It's mine. It's ours- only ours.
We must get rid of this desire to place our failures on the shoulders of others. We have to own up to our messes. We have to repent of our sins. And we have to be willing to say " I messed up, but God's grace is enough".
You see, when we blame others for our mistakes, we are doing what Adam did in the garden of Eden. Blame is not new.
And when we blame people, we are doing it out of fear- fear that we aren't good enough, fear that we've disappointed, and fear of rejection. But as Christians, there's no need for that. There is no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). There's not even a reason to cast blame anymore, because we have long-since been forgiven. We have no shame...so why are we still trying to out-run it?
Accept the blame where blame is due.
And then let it go.
It's not anyone else's fault but yours... but it is also long-gone.
Accept your mistakes and accept Christ's all-encompassing forgiveness.