The Do's and Don't's of Respecting Your Husband | What Does It Mean to Respect Your Spouse?

Thursday, April 26, 2018
Respecting your spouse is vital to having a Christ-honoring marriage. Do you respect your spouse well? Do you honor them and love them in a way that pleases God? What does it mean to respect your husband? Learn the do's and don'ts of respecting your spouse today. 


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When it comes to respecting your spouse, how would you rate yourself? Are you a pro at respecting your other-half, are you admittedly terrible at it, or are you not even sure what real respect looks like? I'm certainly no saint when it comes to respecting my husband, but I do try to give him the respect he needs and deserves.

I also know that for some wives, respect is even more difficult to muster because their husband isn't a Christian. I can't imagine going through that, and I do feel for them. But for those ladies out there, try to remember that love is a mission field. Respecting your husband is a big part of showing that love that they need.

I've been married for four years. Not technically "newlywed" status, but not even close to "veteran" level. I (like most married gals) sometimes cause stupid fights, defend arguments that mean nothing in the long-run, and allow my independent spirit to take over more often than I should. But in my 4+ years of being married, I have learned a thing or two.

Among the lessons I've learned, respect is a biggie! I am learning that respecting my husband is much deeper and more complex than I initially realized, and I am learning that being a respectful wife who loves well is a marathon- not a sprint.
We all need some help in improving as wives, and no one is perfect. So whether you feel like you've got control in the respect department or you feel like you need a lot of help to get there, today's post is for you.

How to respect your husband.

The Do's of Being a Respectful Wife

Do: Try to be mindful of his time and interests when you make plans that include him too.
I am so bad about making plans for me and Taylor before I check with him first. He is one of the most laid-back people I know, so I usually just know he will go with the flow. But it is far more respectful for me to check with him first, even if I already know what he will say. Plus, on the off chance that he really doesn't feel like doing anything, he would definitely appreciate being asked.

Do: Brag on your husband in public.
I know I love it when Taylor brags on me in front of others, and I want him to know how proud I am of him. I want him to feel as special as I do when he brags on me. Brag on your hubby, friends. Make him feel loved.

Do: Be considerate of his hard work when you are considering going on a shopping spree.
I get it, ladies. Maybe you work full-time and you figure that your husband makes enough that you can use "your money" to buy whatever you want. But honestly, unless you and hubby have had a conversation specifically agreeing that what you make is yours to spend, you need to be considerate. Once you say "I do", whatever money you make is no longer just yours. It belongs to both of you, and therefore, that new Iphone really should be talked about first.

Do: Try to show him love via his love language.
It's easy to love people in our own love language. But learning to love your spouse in his love language will bring him more joy. Don't know what your (and your husband's) love language is? Take the quiz together and find out!

Do: Remember to judge him with the same measure you judge yourself.
If we are honest, we are all hypocrites in one way or another. Let's be sure to give our husbands as much grace as we give ourselves- and give ourselves as much accountability as we give our husbands.

Bible verse (1 Peter 3:1-2, English Standard Version)

The Don'ts of Being a Respectful Wife

Don't: Assume your husband is chill with you hanging out with the opposite sex.
Personally, I don't like hanging out with the opposite sex without my husband present anyway. He trusts me, and he knows that I would never do anything to hurt him, but I still prefer to stay away from those situations. Plus, I definitely like him to avoid situations where it's just him and another woman/women. I trust my husband. But we both believe that it's important to keep ourselves out of awkward and inappropriate situations.

Some husband's won't mind their wives hanging out with the opposite sex. I know that. Regardless though, respecting your hubby enough to talk to him about where you are going and who you'll be with is crucial. If nothing else, he will probably appreciate the gesture.

Don't: Complain about all his flaws in public.
Your husband has flaws. You knew that before you married him. But talking about his downfalls in public (or in front of friends/family) is not only hurtful and embarrassing to him; it's also very telling of your own character. Just sayin'.

Don't: Treat him like he is your servant.
This one is honestly really tough for me. I did not grow up learning that wives were princesses, but somehow, I adopted the practice of acting like one anyway... "Taylor, will you get me a drink?", "Taylor, will you please do the dishes and vacuum the floor and let the dogs out (even though I haven't moved off the couch all day)". These phrases are a little too common in my house and though I believe that men should be willing to serve their wives, I also believe that we as wives should be willing to serve our husbands. Whoops...

Don't: Project past hurt from other men onto him.
He is not them. Plain and simple. Just because your ex devalued you doesn't mean your hubby is doing that. Just because your ex was unfaithful doesn't mean you should assume your spouse will eventually be unfaithful too. He's the good guy, remember? Isn't that one of the reasons you married him?

Quote by Tony Evans

Ladies, each couple functions differently, and there isn't necessarily a formula for being a respectful wife, BUT (and it's a big but) there are still general principles that are a good idea to follow. I believe these are some of them.

At the end of the day, being a respectful wife means loving your hubster in the way he needs, being there for him, and speaking well of him. Build him up and treat him well, both in public and behind closed doors. But if you want to get more specific than that, I hope these tips will help you build a better marriage- one in which you respect your husband more and more each day.

How to respect your spouse

Helpful Books on This Topic


How to Respect Your Spouse.

The do's and don'ts of respecting your spouse.

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