When They Need a Friend

Friday, January 8, 2016
Who's your best friend? How did you meet? What qualities do they have that you adore? Where would you be without them?
(Originally posted in August 2015)


I have about seven best friends, not including my husband. Some I am closer to than others, but they are all close enough and special enough to be called best friends. I am blessed beyond measure to have that many trusted, sweet, and fun friends to call mine. They are wonderful.

But every once in a while, the thought occurs to me that some people don't even have one best friend. They have acquaintances, they have people to hang out with, but no one that knows the deeper parts of their heart. They feel lonely, unloved, and like there is something wrong with them.

How sad!

Making friends is harder for some people than it is for others. Almost all of my best friends are introverts, making it tough for them to be thrown into busy, crowd-filled situations. I, on the other hand, am extremely extroverted. I love meeting knew people, making people laugh, and quite possibly enjoy pushing my friends out of their comfort zone ;)

For the people out there like me- the ones who aren't afraid to act on their impulses and talk to that random stranger in the corner- I think we have an obligation.

Not an obligation to be everyone's best friend, don't worry. But we do have an obligation to make others feel loved. We are the ones who aren't intimidated to go up and say hi. We are the ones who enjoy meeting a billion new people. So many people are shy and scared. Why would we make them make the first move? That's not cool, bro! :p

But seriously, we have the ability to make new friends. There are a lot of lonely people out there. People who are far too timid to speak up and be bold. Beautiful people with low self-esteem. So whether it's a smile, a "you look beautiful. I love your hair", or a "hey, let me buy that cup of coffee for you. How are you today?", we have the gift of boldness that could make someone feel like they matter.

And let's just be real...we all know of that one person that is hard to get along with. That person that has obviously needed a friend for years. We kept hoping they would find one. We kept hoping that it wouldn't be us... Shame on us! We saw a need. We ignored a need. We passed up a wonderful opportunity to love on someone. And again, they don't have to be our best friend. They just need to know they have someone. We don't have to be on call 24/7, and it isn't an all-access pass for someone to suck the life out of us. It just means that we kick our selfishness in the butt, push past our own desires, and offer a listening ear and a loving heart to someone who truly needs it.

And for my introverted Christ-lovers out there: try to step out in this way too. I definitely think that us extroverts have a duty, but maybe God is calling you to help the lonely as well. After all, Christ didn't say "Extroverts, love one another", He simply said "love one another".

We can all step up. Meet someone new. When you see that someone is hurting and needs a friend, be that friend.


Did someone come to mind that needs a friend? How can you show that person love?


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10 comments

  1. I thought of myself in a way. Since I graduated college and moved back home, I've been living with my boyfriend and I'm not close to many girlfriends. And I'm finding that some of my old girlfriends and I are so different now that it's hard for me. Good thing I also have 3 sisters that I'm close to.

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    1. I'm sorry. That is tough. I'd encourage you to join some sort of women's group, hang out or bible study. Try to be bold and make new friends if you don't really have your old girlfriends anymore.

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  2. Thank you for this post. I'm definitely the introverted type, and I long for close friends. It's so much harder now that I'm older too.

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    1. Try to put yourself in situations where you can meet people. I know that's really tyough for an introvert, but you have something beautiful to share with others: YOU! :)

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  3. Making friends is so hard when you spend your time missing the friends you made in college but live all over the world now. You know what I mean since we share that Montreat experience. There's no friend like a Montreat friend it seems.

    But I'm seriously trying. I just started hanging out with someone I'd lost touch with because she was in an unhealthy relationship and I didn't want to be a part of the mess (or have it effect my toddler). She's now separated and wondering if divorce is needed in this situation and I'm literally her only friend with a Godly perspective. I feel she needs that. And she really appreciates it. But I'm getting flack for it. There are people in my life judging me for spending time with her. They don't have good reason other than to say she's weird or different or has too many issues. I'd agree if she was trying to get me in the middle of it or draining me dry with need. But it's not the case. It's been mutually beneficial and if I have to be hated on just like Jesus was when he hung out with questionable people then so be it.

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    1. Yep! I've seen that so many times. I agree. If she was bringing you down or keeping you from godliness, then it'd be another story, and you should constantly try to check on that it in your own heart, but it is totally godly, in my opinion, to be there for someone.

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  4. Love that verse from Romans 12. Making close friends has never come very easily to me--though I find that simply associating with people in a kind and amiable way is very easy--I think the deeper, opening up part of close friendship is almost mind-bogglingly hard. And yet everyone needs those sorts of friends!

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    1. Yes! The more you put yourself out there (even if that means just smiling and being nice), the more you will find valuable relationships for yourself, and you will be a blessing to others :)

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  5. Such a great reminder and challenge that even us introverts need to remember to love people intentionally and bravely. I think I can be more intentional to be a friend and pour into the people I interact with at work. It's hard to reach out and initiate real conversations but so worth it!

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  6. Making friends as an adult is extremely hard

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