This post was originally published on 6/4/15. I have updated and revised it in order to share it with you again now.
"All around the world, pretty girls wipe the floors with all the boys." (Brittany Spears and Iggy Azalea)
Everywhere I turn, women are lining up to tell men to go to hell. From song lyrics to the annual Topless Day in Asheville, NC, women are determined to proclaim themselves better than men. And while I believe that women are fully capable of amazing things, and while I hate sexism just as much as the next girl, the way that I see "equality" being fought for over the past few years is something that disturbs me. Women trying to make men look like bumbling idiots will bring anything but unity. Treating men like doormats will do anything but solve the problem.
My husband is not stupid. He may do stupid things, but so do I. My husband is one of the smartest people I know and I am proud of him. My husband was created by God, to do great things for God. And so was I. We were meant to be a team. God loves a marriage team united in him. But when women start treating men like doormats, there is no team and there is no unity, and our long sought-after equality continues to allude us.
A True TeamA team cannot exist if one team mate is always trying to prove that they are better than the other. In the same way, a marriage cannot thrive and be glorifying to God if a woman is more focused on "equality" (which typically ends up meaning control and power over the man) than she is in building up others.
A good marriage team is one that supports one another and believes in true equality. But equality is the key word. We as women do not need to be looking to make men "lower" than us now to make up for all the time that we were "lower". We don't need to try to defeat them or put them down.
We cannot be a team- equals- if we are also treating our men like doormats.
Sometimes, women are treated poorly. And that is truly terrible. There are times where sexism is a problem, and there is a right way to address it. We should absolutely fight for our rights and fight for those women who are not treated fairly. A man should never treat a woman as lesser. And are women capable of wonderful things? Yes. And can women sometimes do a "man's job" better than a man can? Yes, I believe sometimes they can. But when we reach a point that proving that, and making sure we as women are in the spotlight is our main agenda... we have a problem.
We are all made in the image of God- men and women alike. So when women start marching around topless talking about men being pigs, or when Everybody Loves Raymond has yet another episode of Ray screwing everything up and his wife having to fix it all, or when Brittany Spears and Iggy Azalea turn wiping the floor with men into something to be glorified, I start getting a little angry.
Women have become so focused on feeling like doormats, that they've started treating men as just that. Instead of trying to actually make the world a fair and better place for everyone, we have settled for making it a better place for women, at the cost of making it worse for our male counterparts. Just because some men are pigs, doesn't mean we throw them all into a stall. Just because some men wipe their feet with women, doesn't mean we treat the male species like doormats to get them back. It is totally possible to fight for equality and women's rights without tearing down men. We can seek out fair treatment for ourselves without trying to take it away from men.
If we want peace, we have to stop being brash and bossy jerks, ladies. If we want respect, we need to be respectable. If we want a good man, we need to stop putting them down every chance we get.
A woman doesn't have to be in charge to be worth something. A woman doesn't have to make as much money as a man to be good at her job. Should a woman have equal pay if she is doing the exact same job with the exact same work ethic as a man? Abso-freakin-lutely! And women have the right to lobby and fight for that when it is not happening. But when lobbying for equal pay and opportunities becomes a cut-throat, bitter attack on our brothers in Christ, we may need to stop fighting long enough to see the damage we are doing.
As Christians, what does Christ-like love look like? Does it involve criticism, put-downs, and enraged arguments over social rights? It shouldn't. Being a Christian woman doesn't mean giving up our freedoms, but it does mean we should be handling things much differently than the rest of the world. It means respecting men, not turning them into our doormats. It means loving men, being understanding of their downfalls, and respecting them even as we fight for equality. And it means handling ourselves with character, fighting for our freedoms with love, and treating everyone as we want to be treated. We don't get to cast off our principles just because an issue makes us angry. We don't get to throw kindness, godliness, and morality out the window when we are fighting for the plight of the less-fortunate. If we claim Christ, we have to find a way to do both.
So ladies, I challenge you today to look at how you treat the men in your lives. Do you treat them with love and respect, or do you treat them like a doormat? Do they know they are loved, or do they frequently get covered in your muddy footprints?