Dear Lost Friend

Monday, February 23, 2015

Dear Lost Friend,

I never really figured out why our friendship didn't last. It seemed like everything was going well and then out of the blue, you were gone. You left me sitting, wondering what I had done wrong; had I hurt you somehow?

I started thinking, lost friend, that I wasn't good enough. I started feeling like I was boring and that my life wasn't what it needed to be. I started feeling that there was something wrong with me....

But that wasn't it, was it? It wasn't that you were hurt, angry, or even that you didn't like me; I've realized that you were the one who was insecure and hurting. You turned away from your faith, your morals, to a life that you had previously claimed you hated. You sang your praises on stage and on Sundays, but you hit the clubs, the men, and the bottle on the side.

Did you think you weren't good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough? Did you feel like you couldn't get the guy, or that you needed to drown your sorrows away? I'm sorry if you did.

Maybe you needed someone to tell you how awesome you were. Maybe you needed to know that you were loved, cherished, and that you would be okay without turning to alcohol to ease the hurt? Maybe you needed to know that God had you in his hand and would help you through the pain.

Dear lost friend, I pray that you will realize your value. I pray that you will seek attention that is good and worthwhile, attention for things to be proud of; not things you did before you blacked out. Not things you did for the attention of a man who will never cherish you.

I hope you know you are loved, and I hope you will choose friends that care; friends that don't slander you behind your back. I hope you wake up to see what your life could be and what you are capable of.

I am sorry I took it personally. It was clearly not about me.


All of us have had a moment when we've been hurt by someone who stopped giving us the time of day. In many cases, you probably had no idea why they stopped hanging out with you, or why you didn't really exist in there world anymore.
Sometimes, the only reason was that that season in life was over. plain and simple. Or maybe you really did hurt them; we all make mistakes. But there are times when friends turn away because they are dealing with insecurities. If they've never expressed them to us, it will appear that they just don't like us anymore, and we are left feeling like we aren't worth much.
I have had this happen so many times and I tend to let the hurt and anger fester. But really, my friends that have left our friendship in order to pursue men that are terrible for them, partying, drugs, and heavy drinking, are the ones who are hurting, whether they even realize it or not. They felt alone in some way that they were unable to process, so they turned to things that would enable them to avoid it.
The letter above is my letter to those people who have come and gone in my life. It is a letter that allows me to realize that not everything is my fault. It is also a letter that allows me to forgive them and see that maybe there is something deeper going on. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves when a friend goes M.I.A., maybe we should look more closely at what is going on. Pray for them and reach out to them. Keep loving them.

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