How To Show Your Dad He is Loved

My dad and I are very different in a lot of ways. I like to read, my dream job is on the computer, and I love the beach. My dad doesn't like to read, doesn't like technology, and lived at the beach for 22 years and probably went onto the actual beach less than ten times 😂

But on the other hand, we both love TV and Netflix binges (to a fault, admitably), we both love sports, and we both love riding bikes. And when I was growing up, these were "our things". We would watch episode-upon-episode of Walker Texas Ranger and The Brady Bunch, we would ride bikes, and we watched pretty much every televised Duke basketball game there was.

And then there were my basketball games. My mom, dad, nana, brother, and grandaddy would come to every single game they could- even the road games. And my dad would bring his video recorder and film the game. This allowed us to watch the tapes and see what I could improve on and feel really good about what I did right (I mostly watched for the "what I did right parts"- not gonna lie 😝).

I always loved that my family came to every game, but as I've gotten older, I've realized what a blessing and privilege it was to have a Dad (and the rest of my family) be so invested in something that I loved.

When you are a kid, you don't always realize what you have right in front of you. But I am so thankful for my entire family, and today (and this Father's Day) I want to specifically honor my dad. I appreciate him. I love him. And even in the areas where we disagree or can't relate, I still am grateful for him.

And that's why I want to take today to give a few tips and ideas on how to show your dad he is loved. Use them on Father's day, yes, but take it a step further and practice them all the time.

Listen To What He Says

My dad likes to talk about TV shows a lot. Sometimes people don't understand that that's "his thing" and they don't really listen very well. But my dad just wants to tell people about his interests just like I want to tell people about mine. Not everyone really cares about the blogging world, but I get excited and I tell people about it. Daddy does the same, but with old TV shows and actors/actresses. 

When your dad is interested in something, listen to him. Don't just ignore him, pick on him, or change the subject. Taking interest in the interests of our parents will mean so much more to them than we realize.

Ask Him How He Is Doing

Sometimes, people just want to be asked how they are doing. They may give you a one-word answer, but even then it just feels good to be asked.
Always ask your dad how he is doing. Ask him how work has been, how his latest project is going, or what he has been up to lately. Whether he elaborates or just says "I'm good", I am confident he will appreciate the gesture.

Don't Play Favorites

Our parents want to know that they are loved equally. They don't want to worry that we like our other parent better, or feel left out all the time. Make a conscious effort to be involved in conversation with both parents any time you are all together. Don't just spend all your time with your Mom and leave your dad sitting in the living room alone. And don't reverse the situation either. Remain equally loving and participatory with both parents so that they both feel loved and appreciated.

Don't Just Call When You Need Something

No matter how much your dad might like to feel needed, he also wants to know that if you never needed help changing your oil, paying your bills, or whatever else you can fill in the blank with- you would still call and you would still spend time with him.

Sometimes we forget that the people who raised us can still become insecure and worry that they aren't cherished. We need to be aware of this and show them that they do matter and we do care. And calling just to say "hi" or "I love you" is a great way to do that.

My final challenge to you is to remember that treating your dad well is not just a Father's Day event- it should be a lifestyle. So while he may want to be treated like a king on Father's day (and who can blame him, really?), he wants to be loved and respected everyday. So do your best to make that happen.

What are your favorite memories with your dad? Comment below.

How to Deal with Difficult Family During the Holidays

Are the holidays a stressful time because you have a dysfunctional or dramatic family? Do you know how to deal with difficult family members during the holidays? Learn how to deal with your difficult family over the holidays in a Biblical, Christ-like way.

I'm extremely thankful (for many reasons) that I have a really good family with far less drama than most people I know. I am well-aware that if I was in a more dysfunctional situation, I would be tempted to get myself into all sorts of trouble.

But what if you are in a volatile situation? What if you have a mother who closely rivals Emily Gilmore? (guess what I've been watching...). What if it's even worse than that? I am so thankful that the holidays are a fun time for me and my family, but for many, the holidays are the most terrible time of the year.

So in that situation, how does a person manage to be a light for their family? How does someone remain Christlike when dealing with difficult people? Are there biblical principles to follow?

5 Strategies for Cleaning Your Home- and keeping it that way

My husband and I are notoriously messy people. We clean up the house on Saturday, and somehow by Sunday afternoon it looks like a tornado swept through and undid all of our efforts.

I constantly find myself frustrated by the messiness, and yet I know that Taylor and I are the one's who have created it. Houses don't just get dirty on their own; nor does a dirty house suddenly become tidy.

Keeping a clean home takes hard work, discipline, and a solid plan- one that must be consistently implemented.

Happy Thanksgiving From The Peculiar Treasure!

Happy Thanksgiving, you wonderful people! I know you are ready for your turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce- and I don't blame you. But before you shut you laptop and head for the table, I wanted to encourage us all to truly live a full life of thanksgiving, not just this one day a year.

Earlier this week, I was reading She Reads Truth. The series was about giving thanks to God, and the particular post was about God winning the victory (read it here).The text for the post was Psalm 98.

Oh sing to the Lord a new song,

    for he has done marvelous things!

His right hand and his holy arm

    have worked salvation for him.

 The Lord has made known his salvation;

    he has revealed his righteousness in the sight of the nations.

 He has remembered his steadfast love and faithfulness

    to the house of Israel.

 All the ends of the earth have seen

    the salvation of our God.

 Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth;

    break forth into joyous song and sing praises!

 Sing praises to the Lord with the lyre,

    with the lyre and the sound of melody!

 With trumpets and the sound of the horn

    make a joyful noise before the King, the Lord!

 Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;

    the world and those who dwell in it!

 Let the rivers clap their hands;

    let the hills sing for joy together

 before the Lord, for he comes

    to judge the earth.

He will judge the world with righteousness,

    and the peoples with equity.

When I read those verses and then started thinking about the study questions, I realized something: these people are joyous about the victory God has given and they truly know the way to share it with the world. That is why they are singing. And though I don't need to carry a harp around everywhere I go (thank God!), I do need to show my thanks to God outwardly.

What good is it to have victory, if no one can see the joy in my life? If we walk around depressed, angry, anxious, or fill-in-the-blank, we are not portraying any sort of victory to the world. In fact, we are making the great hope of Jesus into something that is less than desirable. I'm not declaring that we should be fake or pretend we have no problems. Rather, I am declaring that despite our struggles, we choose joy and we live it out. 

So on this Thanksgiving- better yet, every single day- give thanks to the Lord for His victory by living a joyful, thankful life. Show the world what we have through the praise of our lips and the joy in our actions.

Give thanks to the Lord. His love endures forever!

Identifying the Lies of Marriage

I grew up as your stereo-typical little girl. I was convinced that I would grow up, meet a man who treats me like an absolute princess, we would get married, and then life would be complete. Marriage was my goal.

Marriage continued to be my goal even as I got older. I wanted to meet a good, Christian guy who loved God and loved me. Again, even though I would have denied feeling this way, deep down I felt that life would just always be fantastic once I was with my guy.

Fast-forward to college where I met my now-husband. Taylor was (and is) great. He loves God, wants us to grow, and tries to live his life for God. He has fantastic qualities and we tend to help each other in our weaker points. Yes, it was what I had waited for.

But we had a problem. I had been carrying around this false idea of the right person, of godly dating, and of godly marriage since I was a child. So when God brought Taylor into my life and everything wasn't perfect- because we weren't aren't perfect, I flipped out. Why did I still have any struggle with depression and anxiety, if I had found the right guy? Shouldn't I always feel perfect peace when I am with him? Why did we ever have any sort of disagreement? Why didn't every single moment of every single part of our relationship run smoothly?

The real answer to that question is, of course "Because you are both human beings, Kristin!", but my little Cinderella brain couldn't quite get there. I had assumed that if it wasn't pure joy all the time, and if all of my struggles weren't gone, then I must not be with the right person.

People with anxiety don't just feel peace all the time. Being in a great situation doesn't mean there is nothing but peace. That is particularly true for people with anxiety, but it is true for everyone. God is the only one that has and gives perfect peace. Perfect peace doesn't come from being in a perfect situation. Perfect peace comes from a perfect God.

But since I was convinced that I had to have perfect peace about every moment of my life in order for it to be of God, I would worry if Taylor and I disagreed about anything, thinking that there was something wrong with us. I would worry if we didn't like the same hobbies, because it might mean we would bore each other in marriage. I would worry if we got in a fight, because obviously, Christian couples don't fight... #sarcasm.

But the thing is, none of these views were really coming from Scripture. No, my ideas of godly dating and marriage were a strange hodge-podge of Disney fairy tales mixed with "Christian" false-teaching that the Holy Spirit leads in your gut. I had bought into the lie that I would feel complete peace about anything that God wanted me to do, and I would have anxiety if it was sin. But that false view doesn't account for people with anxiety disorders. It also doesn't account for all the times people feel peace about something that God clearly wasn't calling them to do. It leaves out that fact that, just like our hearts, our emotions are tainted by this world-by sin. We can feel all sorts of crap. But feelings are not God. And though peace is a fruit of the spirit, that doesn't have anything to do with feeling peace about every decision you make. That's not what it means. And likewise, though our dating and marriage should reflect Christ, we will never reach perfection on earth, which means our marriages will never be perfect.

I spent so much time wrestling with all of this. I had so many false ideas to work through. I had so many rude awakenings that it was painful. And those false ideas were just so embedded in my perfectionist, fairy-tale brain, that I had to really fight to see the truth.

*The truth is that God uses our differences within marriage to help us grow, and to help us help each other.


*The truth is that when God brings two people together, they will never be perfect, but they will fit together well, help each other, encourage each other in God, and they will be committed to godliness. They will bear godly fruit together, even through their struggles.


*The truth is, that God knows exactly what we need, and He sees the big picture.


*The truth is, perfect relationships (if they existed) wouldn't grow us nearly as well as messy relationships that strive to know God more.

*The truth is, the bible never says anything about finding "the one". It simply tells us to be equally yoked, gives us qualities to look for, and implies that we need to be bearing godly fruit and helping each other in God and in our relationships with God.


The truth is, I still struggle with all of this. I am so incredibly blessed to have a husband that loves God and has a passion to see others thinking deeply about God and knowing Him as much as we are able to. He helps me in some of my weakest spiritual areas and I do the same for him. That is completely of God. We could not have cultivated that on our own. We could never have forced that to happen. Praise God for bringing us together and knowing what (and who) we needed. But since my false ideas were so deeply rooted for so long, I still have to fight to believe truth instead. It's easy to have a fight and think, "Oh, we must be a bad couple", but that is just so wrong.

I also know I am not alone. I am learning that more and more women, particularly around my age, fight against these lies too. They are right there with me, forcing themselves to remember that their ideas of marriage have to come from Scripture, not some load of crap that implies everything should be perfect, we should always feel fantastic, and we should never have any problems. Good grief! If that were true, no one would ever get married or date.

So join us as we fight the lies. Be thankful for and build up your spouse and your marriage, even if things aren't perfect (because they never will be). Know that God has you and your spouse together to bring Him glory, not so that we can get grumpy over every little imperfection.

Stand against the Enemies lies. Stand against your own lies. Stand against the lies of media and society.

And if you'd like to read more blogs about similar marriage issues, here are a few of my favorites:

Sobremesa Stories: How Perfectionism and High Expectations Impacted Our Marriage and Five Tips for Living in an Introvert-Extrovert Marriage.

She is Joyful: How I Knew He Was the One: It's Not What You Think.

His Endless Love (Guest Post): Marriage 101- Opposites Attract.


I hope those posts, along with this one, are a blessing to you. Remember to be discerning about what you are believing, and to constantly be thankful for your marriage.

Apple Picking and an Update

Hi guys! I am so happy you are here! Thanks for always joining along with me in this big ol' blogging world. You're the best!

I've mention a lot on Instagram lately how excited I have been that my family and I are living closer together again. Having them so close has been super exciting! We've been able to spend so much time together even just in the past month.

In fact, this past Wednesday, my mom and I were able to go apple picking. The apple orchard that I always went to in college is only an hour away, so we drove to Flat Rock (just outside of Hendersonville, NC) and picked apples together.

Mama had never been picking and I was so glad I was the person who got to go with her on her first trip to the orchard.

Their were mostly Fuji apples to pick when we went, which was fine with me because I love em'!

It was so nice to be in the mountains again. I love the crisp air and beautiful views.

After we were done picking, we headed inside to see if there were any other types of apples we wanted to buy. I ended up with the Fujis and mama ended up with Ida Reds. We bought a few Asian pears too (YUM!).
Oh, and there was also a giant pumpkin :)

We also tried a homemade apple slushie and bought a half-dozen apple cider donuts that the orchard makes right in front of you. Seriously, they are absolutely fantastic!

I am so thankful for this time with my mom. I feel like we are catching up on all the time we missed while I was in college. Six hours apart doesn't sound like a lot, but it really is when you are as close as we are.

**************

Now, for a brief Charlotte update:

We have been in Charlotte for over a month now, and I am loving my job. Baby E is the sweetest little one ever and her mom and dad are great too. We have a great time playing outside, listening to music, and hanging out with the family dog.

Taylor got a job working at a Gourmet hot dog shop in Charlotte. He stays so busy and so tired, but I am proud of him and we know it will be worth it :) He is loving seminary and we are both working towards making friends and finding a church to call our own.

Thank you to those who are following and supporting our journey.

Happy Tuesday, friends!