Related: How Should Christians Treat Their Spouse? + 5 Things to Change in Your Marriage Today
In my own marriage, I am so incredibly thankful for my husband. Our marriage is far from perfect, but I genuinely enjoy it and it's my favorite part of everyday life. Obviously, the number one reason for us having a solid marriage is Jesus. His grace to us and our commitment to Him makes a world of difference and shapes our marriage in a way that nothing else could. But as a married couple, we also have to take steps to grow our relationship and make it better. One of the ways that we do this is through having fun together.
Think about your best friend (aside from your spouse). What do you love about them? I'm sure you could come up with a long list of reasons, but I am willing to bet one your reasons is that you can have fun with them, right?
Likewise, when you are spending the rest of your life with someone, you need to be able to have fun together. A marriage without laughing together and having fun together must be miserable. I know people in this sort of marriage and I hurt for them. A spouse should be your closest friend and ally, and friends and allies should be able to share joy and laughter together.
Thankfully though, fun and joy are choices that can be made and cultivated. If you find yourself in a marriage that is void of fun or joy, know that you and your spouse can change that. You can learn to have fun together even if you haven't done so for years.
I do recognize that some seasons are extremely difficult. Sometimes going out and doing something fun is nearly impossible. But even in those moments, you can choose to have joy in the Lord, choose to be thankful for the gift of your spouse, and choose to have fun with your spouse in the little things. Just making each other laugh is a gift in and of itself.
Do you know how to cultivate fun in your marriage and have fun with your spouse on a consistent basis? I have some ideas.
You don't have to do everything together, but you certainly need to carve out time that is just for the two of you. Otherwise, the demands of your jobs, kids, or even church life can fill every inch of your day, leaving no time for marital growth.
Obviously, there are things that prevent quality time for a season. There are times when dates will be impossible and you aren't able to be alone. The important part is that when you do have the opportunity to make time, you make it a priority.
Once you have made it a priority to carve out quality time with your spouse, you still have to figure out what you will make of your time together -- especially if it's been a while since you have made quality time a priority. Here are a few ideas for ways to make your time together fun.
I recommend you and your spouse sit down together and each make a list of things that you enjoy doing. Think hard and make your list as long as you can. Then, share your lists with one another. Are there any common interests? Put stars by those activities/ideas.
Why You Need to Have Fun with Your Spouse
Taylor and I spend a lot of time together and when we have a busy week that keeps us apart more, we genuinely miss each other. We love our evenings out with friends or at church, and we also love our lazy evenings in when we binge-watch our favorite shows on Youtube or Netflix. Having fun together is natural and frequent, and I think that is important.Think about your best friend (aside from your spouse). What do you love about them? I'm sure you could come up with a long list of reasons, but I am willing to bet one your reasons is that you can have fun with them, right?
Likewise, when you are spending the rest of your life with someone, you need to be able to have fun together. A marriage without laughing together and having fun together must be miserable. I know people in this sort of marriage and I hurt for them. A spouse should be your closest friend and ally, and friends and allies should be able to share joy and laughter together.
Thankfully though, fun and joy are choices that can be made and cultivated. If you find yourself in a marriage that is void of fun or joy, know that you and your spouse can change that. You can learn to have fun together even if you haven't done so for years.
I do recognize that some seasons are extremely difficult. Sometimes going out and doing something fun is nearly impossible. But even in those moments, you can choose to have joy in the Lord, choose to be thankful for the gift of your spouse, and choose to have fun with your spouse in the little things. Just making each other laugh is a gift in and of itself.
Do you know how to cultivate fun in your marriage and have fun with your spouse on a consistent basis? I have some ideas.
Spending Quality Time with Your Spouse
It seems like a no-brainer, but you really can't have a strong marriage if you don't spend time together. Just as you have to spend time with your friends to maintain your friendships, and just as you have to spend time with God to deepen your relationship with and knowledge of Him, the same is true in marriage.You don't have to do everything together, but you certainly need to carve out time that is just for the two of you. Otherwise, the demands of your jobs, kids, or even church life can fill every inch of your day, leaving no time for marital growth.
Obviously, there are things that prevent quality time for a season. There are times when dates will be impossible and you aren't able to be alone. The important part is that when you do have the opportunity to make time, you make it a priority.
Ideas for Having Fun with Your Spouse
Once you have made it a priority to carve out quality time with your spouse, you still have to figure out what you will make of your time together -- especially if it's been a while since you have made quality time a priority. Here are a few ideas for ways to make your time together fun.
Start by Making a List
While some people do enjoy making lists, this first idea is more of a starting point than a ball of fun.I recommend you and your spouse sit down together and each make a list of things that you enjoy doing. Think hard and make your list as long as you can. Then, share your lists with one another. Are there any common interests? Put stars by those activities/ideas.
Talk About Your List
Next, talk about the activities that your spouse enjoys that you aren't necessarily excited about but that you would be willing to give a try or could compromise on. Maybe your spouse really enjoys going to car shows and you really enjoy thrift shopping. Are these areas where you could go with one another, or is it best to save those activities for times with your friends? Really try to be flexible.
As a general rule, it's best to compromise and try to learn to enjoy things your spouse likes when you are able. This won't always work and you are not required to enjoy everything they enjoy. But I do suggest trying new things and avoid turning your nose up at everything your other half enjoys. This, along with many other things, is how marriage teaches us humility and selflessness. 😉 Plus, you might actually find something enjoyable that you never expected to.
I do have a few suggestions for things that you and your spouse can do together, but keep in mind that the lists that you and your spouse make together matter more than the suggestions that I have. What you enjoy doing for fun together is going to vary for each couple. But if you need a little extra help deciding where to start, here are a few ideas (the ones with asterisks are our personal favorites).
I do have a few suggestions for things that you and your spouse can do together, but keep in mind that the lists that you and your spouse make together matter more than the suggestions that I have. What you enjoy doing for fun together is going to vary for each couple. But if you need a little extra help deciding where to start, here are a few ideas (the ones with asterisks are our personal favorites).
Ideas for Having Fun with Your Spouse
- Go for an evening walk together
- Act like a tourist and explore your city together *
- Work out together
- Learn a new sport or play a sport you already both enjoy (we love disc golf!) *
Want to try disc golf? You can find a list of courses in your area here. - Have a date night at your favorite restaurant. If you have different tastes, take turns picking and try to find something you like about your spouse's pick if possible.*
- Play video games together (we love Mario Kart and Mario Party) *
- Watch your favorite shows together or take turns picking and resist the urge to knit-pick your spouse's choice if you aren't a huge fan.
We love The Office and Parks & Rec, Boy Meets World, and we also really enjoy Youtube. We have found several channels that we both really enjoy and we check frequently for new videos to watch together. *
* Confession: I hated The Office when Taylor first introduced me to it. Now it's one of my favorite shows. So don't forget to give your spouse's favorites a chance! - Train for and run a marathon together
- Learn a new skill together
- Organize a game night with other couples*
- Write your spouse a letter to be spontaneous and show them you care
- Intentionally do something with your spouse that you aren't interested in. This doesn't sound fun, right? But think about how happy it will make them to see your intentionality. Learn to have fun by being thoughtful towards your spouse.
- Go to a local trivia night *
- Choose a project or service idea where you can serve or work side-by-side
- Join a bible study or small group together. Growing in God together is deep, responsible, and important, but it can still be fun too! *
I hope these ideas are helpful. I would love to know if you already do some of these things or if there is anything you would add to my list! Tell me in the comments below!
*Disclaimer: I am not a marriage counselor. I do not have all the answers. I'm just a woman who has benefited from spending fun, quality time with my husband. Some marriages need more than just a little extra fun. If you and your spouse are struggling to communicate and support each other or are working through more serious issues, prayerfully consider speaking with your pastor or seeking out a Christ-centered marriage counselor.
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