Practical Ways to Love Your Spouse

Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Life isn't always exciting. There isn't always something fun happening, and life isn't always sweet and romantic. So in these moments- the droll, uneventful moments- how to we show our other half that we are still head-over-heels for them?

Before my husband and I got married, we dated for four years. There were no secrets. I knew before we got married what his quirks were, what made him mad, and what he did that drove me crazy. And he knew the same about me. This meant that there weren't any unpleasant surprises. He knew that I over-analyzed everything, and I knew that his rants could last a lifetime.

And even though we saw each others imperfections, we knew that we loved each other deeply enough to remain faithful, even when the little quirks turned into big nuisances, and the twitter-pated hearts calmed down a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I still love my husband deeply, and I love to flirt with him and goof off with him. But chances are, everyday life is not going to be filled with butterflies, breathless moments, and candlelit meals. Actually, it's much more likely that it will be filled with morning breath, towels on the floor, and farts that stay pungent for longer than humanly imaginable ;)

So how, even then, when we are tired, grumpy, and plugging in the air freshener, do we show our spouses the deep love they deserve?

Practical Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse

1.) Laugh with them

My guess is, your spouse wants nothing more than to make you happy- to see you smile. And the thing is, we can get so bogged down with what our spouse didn't get right, that we lose our ability to smile and laugh. When spouses laugh together, there is something healing and therapeutic about it. It delights from the inside out and is a great reminder of the joy you share with your spouse. 

And maybe some of you haven't been able to laugh together lately. If that is you, sit down and have a conversation to figure out what is going on.

But even in those times, you can still laugh together. Put on your favorite comedian or funny movie, or go hang out with that friend that always makes you both laugh. Just make a conscious effort to do something fun.

2.) Surprise them with a date-night

I've mentioned before, that one of the things my husband and I love to do is take our mattress into the living room and watch movies until we fall asleep. I enjoy it very much, but my husband loves it. So one time, I set up the mattress in the living room and picked out a few movies before he got home. It made him feel loved and special.

Some people may not enjoy that at all, but we do. Whatever it is that makes your spouse happy and that you can both enjoy, set it up and surprise him. Maybe he loves having a nice dinner cooked for him, or maybe he loves it when you two play soccer together. Organizing something fun that your spouse enjoys is sure to make them feel loved, especially when they see that thought has been put into.

3.) Remind them of their good qualities

My love language is words of affirmation. Sometimes to a fault. But my husband is not that way. He typically doesn't need that much affirmation, so sometimes I forget to watch for when he does need it. 

Regardless of your spouse's love language, and regardless of how much they do or don't communicate, everyone needs to be reminded of their good qualities talents, and what makes them so darn lovable!

My husband, for example, is ridiculously smart, but I often forget that he doesn't always feel smart. And on days when he has a paper or presentation coming up, he's often more nervous about it than he lets on. So on these days, I try to tell him how proud of him I am, how smart he is, and that I know he will do well.

And for people who haven't been feeling very doting on their spouse lately?
Remember why you married them. Regardless of how they made you feel when they forgot to do the dishes, they are still that wonderful person you fell in love with. They are still smart, funny, talented, and kind. And they are still the love of your life!

When you love your spouse, it should never be based on their actions. They (and we) are flawed human beings. They will make mistakes, they won't always be fun and romantic, and they are never going to be the perfect person. That's why the "honeymoon" phase dies down, and "real life" rears its head. But that's ok. Whether today was hard, easy, boring, or more eventful than you bargained for, you still have the ability to go home and let your spouse know that they are deeply loved. And that you will love them on their good days and bad days- on their super-sweet days, and on their super-obnoxious days. 

They need to know that you will always be there, and that you are still madly, incandescently in love with them. And yes, you are absolutely capable of showing them that love!

How do you show your spouse you love them? Are there any special dates you like to have?
Comment below.

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  1. All of these are so true! The simplest things can help reinvent that "spark". Knowing my husband's love language has helped a lot as well so I love that you touched on that :)

    1. Thanks! Oftentimes, what I blog is what I need to get better at. Haha.

  2. I love that you take your mattress into the living room. That's like indoor camping for adults. So creative!

  3. I thank you for this post. It is just a reminder of what God has been teaching me as a wife. In addition, how to love. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Oh laughing together is one of my favorites! Love these reminders!

  5. I love this! Especially #1! I firmly believe a big part of the fact that Dave and I have a great marriage is that we laugh together so often!

  6. I love reminding my husband of good qualities all the time. I try to always say I am thankful for him too. He helps me in more ways that I can every ask for.