Practical Ways to Love Your Spouse

Life isn't always exciting. There isn't always something fun happening, and life isn't always sweet and romantic. So in these moments- the droll, uneventful moments- how to we show our other half that we are still head-over-heels for them?

Before my husband and I got married, we dated for four years. There were no secrets. I knew before we got married what his quirks were, what made him mad, and what he did that drove me crazy. And he knew the same about me. This meant that there weren't any unpleasant surprises. He knew that I over-analyzed everything, and I knew that his rants could last a lifetime.

And even though we saw each others imperfections, we knew that we loved each other deeply enough to remain faithful, even when the little quirks turned into big nuisances, and the twitter-pated hearts calmed down a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I still love my husband deeply, and I love to flirt with him and goof off with him. But chances are, everyday life is not going to be filled with butterflies, breathless moments, and candlelit meals. Actually, it's much more likely that it will be filled with morning breath, towels on the floor, and farts that stay pungent for longer than humanly imaginable ;)

So how, even then, when we are tired, grumpy, and plugging in the air freshener, do we show our spouses the deep love they deserve?

Practical Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse

1.) Laugh with them

My guess is, your spouse wants nothing more than to make you happy- to see you smile. And the thing is, we can get so bogged down with what our spouse didn't get right, that we lose our ability to smile and laugh. When spouses laugh together, there is something healing and therapeutic about it. It delights from the inside out and is a great reminder of the joy you share with your spouse. 

And maybe some of you haven't been able to laugh together lately. If that is you, sit down and have a conversation to figure out what is going on.

But even in those times, you can still laugh together. Put on your favorite comedian or funny movie, or go hang out with that friend that always makes you both laugh. Just make a conscious effort to do something fun.

2.) Surprise them with a date-night

I've mentioned before, that one of the things my husband and I love to do is take our mattress into the living room and watch movies until we fall asleep. I enjoy it very much, but my husband loves it. So one time, I set up the mattress in the living room and picked out a few movies before he got home. It made him feel loved and special.

Some people may not enjoy that at all, but we do. Whatever it is that makes your spouse happy and that you can both enjoy, set it up and surprise him. Maybe he loves having a nice dinner cooked for him, or maybe he loves it when you two play soccer together. Organizing something fun that your spouse enjoys is sure to make them feel loved, especially when they see that thought has been put into.

3.) Remind them of their good qualities

My love language is words of affirmation. Sometimes to a fault. But my husband is not that way. He typically doesn't need that much affirmation, so sometimes I forget to watch for when he does need it. 

Regardless of your spouse's love language, and regardless of how much they do or don't communicate, everyone needs to be reminded of their good qualities talents, and what makes them so darn lovable!

My husband, for example, is ridiculously smart, but I often forget that he doesn't always feel smart. And on days when he has a paper or presentation coming up, he's often more nervous about it than he lets on. So on these days, I try to tell him how proud of him I am, how smart he is, and that I know he will do well.

And for people who haven't been feeling very doting on their spouse lately?
Remember why you married them. Regardless of how they made you feel when they forgot to do the dishes, they are still that wonderful person you fell in love with. They are still smart, funny, talented, and kind. And they are still the love of your life!

When you love your spouse, it should never be based on their actions. They (and we) are flawed human beings. They will make mistakes, they won't always be fun and romantic, and they are never going to be the perfect person. That's why the "honeymoon" phase dies down, and "real life" rears its head. But that's ok. Whether today was hard, easy, boring, or more eventful than you bargained for, you still have the ability to go home and let your spouse know that they are deeply loved. And that you will love them on their good days and bad days- on their super-sweet days, and on their super-obnoxious days. 

They need to know that you will always be there, and that you are still madly, incandescently in love with them. And yes, you are absolutely capable of showing them that love!

How do you show your spouse you love them? Are there any special dates you like to have?

Comment below.

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Finally Here: The Cooks Go Charlotte

Hello, blogging world! I've missed you tremendously!
How have you been? Have you been loving life, having new adventures, and drinking good coffee? I sure hope so! It's only been a week since I last posted, but it feels like it has been so much longer!

As most of you know, my husband and I just moved from our small North Carolina mountain home to the very busy city of Charlotte. We did this so that my husband could follow God's call for him to attend seminary. We have a lot to get used to, but I am sure we will enjoy Charlotte once we get the hang of it.

Actually, on Saturday when we moved in, I even got to meet a blogging friend that I had spoken to in The Peony Project, an online Christian blogging group with writers from all over the world. How awesome is that?! Vanessa, over at Tapestry Chronicles, and her husband came over to our home to help us move in, along with two Waynesville friends, and three other friends from Charlotte. We are truly blessed. We even had help from our church and family the night before with loading up the truck. We are incredibly grateful for all the love, support, and help that everyone has shown us.

Once all the rooms are fixed up and all the boxes are gone, I plan to do a post showing  how we've decorated the house, but for now, I figured I'd share a few "so far" pictures. Enjoy.

Our living room. We LOVE the mantel. Please excuse the slippers and red snuggie ;)

My new succulent friend, a close-up of our mantel, and our coffee wall in the dining room.

Our house is coming along slowly but surely. We have plenty more boxes to unpack, we are trying to help the dogs transition well, and it will take us a while to learn the area, but we are so excited about this new adventure God has us on, and we know it will be good. To God be the glory.

If you are following our new adventure on social media (Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook), search the hashtag #theCooksgoCharlotte and #Cooksonthemove to see more pictures and posts.

House Hunting In Charlotte

House-hunting in Charlotte, NC takes a lot out of a girl. Thank God for His trust-worthiness and for an awesome hubby, family, friends, and coffee too!

Last Wednesday, Taylor and I headed off to stay with my mom at my family's new farm just outside of North Carolina. Staying with her was great. We were able to visit with her in the evenings and go look at houses in Charlotte during the day.

Thursday was the first time I had ever really seen Charlotte. And I have to admit, it was terrifying! I to me, downtown Asheville is bog enough, but downtown Charlotte makes Asheville look like a toy!

We viewed a house and an apartment that morning, to no avail. One was ridiculously expensive and one was not in a very good area (and wasn't a very good property). We at lunch at Bad Daddy's Burger Bar in the Dillsworth area. That burger was so, so good! It had fried bacon on it!? Who does that???

Any-who... after lunch we continued our apartment and house hunt, which didn't result in much success. We did, however, get to visit my friend Stephanie and her mom, who I had not seen since our wedding. That was a plus :)

The next day was much of the same as far as housing goes, but we were able to finally tour Taylor's school, which was a huge blessing. One of the head honchos, a very nice man, took us out to lunch. We also met Beth, a super-sweet woman around our age who came to RTS from Australia! So cool! She told me all about the women's ministries the school has that reaches out to and builds community among the female students and wives of male students (that's me!). I am very excited about that. I am going to have a hard time leaving all of our loved ones in the mountains, so establishing a community in Charlotte is really important to me.

We viewed another house after touring the school, but that one wasn't the right fit for us either. Thankfully, that afternoon, Taylor took me to Smelly Cat Coffee, in the NoDa district of Charlotte.

That was on my list of things to do in Charlotte, and I already marked that one off! Woot-woot! A let me tell you, guys, that was one of the best frappe's I've ever had! Go try it. Now. ;)

After visit Steph and her fiance' again, we headed back to spend the evening with my mom. I really enjoyed having time with her again. I am thankful for any chance at get with her, but I never feel like it's enough. I cannot wait to live closer to each other!

Taylor and I headed back home the next morning. We had a good trip with mama and with each other, but we went away feeling very discouraged about the housing situation.



But regardless of our frustration, regardless of the fact that we want to know where we are living and yet we have no clue, we absolutely know that God will provide. We know He will lead us where to go; we just have to trust Him. And I am thankful for that. I am thankful that my impatience doesn't negate His faithfulness. My grumpiness doesn't take away His provision, and my over-planning doesn't freak Him out.